The seven · 03 / 07

The question

Do the people at my table feel prioritized — would they know it?

Every Sunday, Relationships gets a number from 1 to 7, the same as the other six. The scale is the same for all seven:

1

Abandoned. Not in the plan at all.

3

Maintenance. Showing up, going through motions, no intention behind it.

5

In it. Deliberate effort, visible progress, a plan being run.

7

Fully lived. Lived at full intent. You would put this quarter on the record.

Goals people set here

Ideas, not assignments. Each one names a number or a date, so you will know whether you did it.

• One phone-free evening a week with my partner.
• Call my parents every Sunday — 50 calls in the year.
• Host friends for dinner once a quarter.
• A one-on-one dinner with each of my children every month.
• Write one letter a month to someone who mattered.
• Reach out first to three people I have let drift.

Things worth doing once

From the fifty-two actions — one a week, the same for everybody, chosen and never assigned. These are the Relationships ones.

• Write down who is at your tableThe few people whose lives change if you are not in them. Next to each name, the last time you actually saw them.
• Write one thank-you a monthTo somebody who helped and never heard about it. On paper if you can.
• Set a standing call with somebody you missSame day, same time, every week. Nobody has to arrange it, so it actually happens.
• Book a night out every monthWith the person you share your life with, booked early in the month, before the month books itself.
• Put a dinner at yours in the calendarPick a date this month, invite four people, keep the food simple. Choosing the date is the hard part.
• Put every birthday in your calendarEverybody at your table, with a reminder a week ahead, so there is time for more than a text.
• Keep a gift list for the people closest to youWhen somebody mentions a thing they would like, write it under their name. December gets much easier.
• Book an hour for the Obituary ReviewWrite your obituary as it honestly reads today, then read it against last year's. The gap is next year.